Just Say No to Advice and Stop Trying to Be the Perfect Everything

If you’ve ever been the recipient of unwanted advice, you know how frustrating this can be. Perhaps you’ve desperately wanted to vent – but wanted to avoid public confrontation. Writing is a good way to vent, and blogs can allow you some personal cover.

My friend found a blog outlet for her to vent about the ton of advice she has received – all unsolicited and all unwanted.

“I am a single mom, trying my hardest to juggle working full time and raising my kids. I have my downfalls. Sometimes, I choose to sit on the couch instead of doing laundry. Sometimes, I choose “me time” instead of cleaning. Some people may think this is terrible, but I need to take care of my self emotionally or else I will break down. I don’t have a partner to help with the chores, raise the kids or contribute to the family income.

I wish people would stop judging and offering “advice.” I don’t want to hear endless advice about how I should be raising my kids from people who don’t’ have kids. I don’t want to hear advice about how I could juggle my time better from people who don’t have kids. Basically I don’t want advice. I will ask you if I need your help or advice. Until then, don’t judge me until you have walked a mile in my shoes.”

The best advice is this: don’t take advice and don’t give advice. – Author wishes to remain anonymous

As working moms, we all need to give ourselves a break. The other day I saw a sign somewhere that pointed out the word “IMPERFECT.” Moms put so much guilt on themselves and work so hard to please everyone and most of all their children. We need to know it’s okay to make mistakes and to take a day off or have a less than perfectly clean house. Just look closely at the word “IMPERFECT” and you’ll see a hidden message that says “I’M PERFECT.”


Holly Pavlika
Holly Pavlika

Mom, advocate, philanthropist, entrepreneur and writer.